Well I was born on the 23rd of august of the year 1991 at the hospital of braga, don't really know much more details about it... either way, after that, I spent some years living at my grandmother's house along with some of my uncles and aunts, grandparents and parents, of course. in total I think we were... 9, yes I think we were 9 back then, 2 uncles and 2 aunts... before going to the elementary school I remember I didn't really like to be at the nursery school, it was just a few meters away from my grandma's, and I remember that I one time tried to run back home while they weren't watching, but one of them saw me and started running to get me, I got caught just before entering the front gate... I remember that I also used to play a lot with my uncles, doing all kinds of stuff, it was fun, of course, I also liked playing some harmless pranks, I think mostly to one of my aunts, but I won't talk about it now...
I moved to another house some time after all that, im not really sure when, I just know we moved again to Barcelos when I was 8, year 2000 if i'm not mistaken. I seem to remember I started using the computer at around the age of 4, that was a very different technology in which I didn't use the mouse, I had to type every action I wanted to execute.
Haha look at this, so many lines and only vaguely got to the age of 8... I started going to the elementary school at the age of 6, only had classes in the morning and after that I went back to my grandmother's place, yes, even though I was in a different house I guess I can say I grew up at my grandma's (I still hang around and sleep there sometimes though...), I had some friends I guess...
My younger brother was born when I was 8
at that time we left our home back there in Galegos Santa Maria, but since we moved out sooner than expected, we lived at my other grandmother's house for about a month, it was also very close to my cousins home as well...
Either way, then we moved to another home in Barcelos, because of my dad's work and all that, still I remained at my elementary school in Galegos, 3rd and 4th grade, it was usually my uncle that came and get me every morning. I made like 1 or 2 friends while living there at that time.
At around that time, I was playing a game called Jet Set Radio, that was about roller blading, so I wanted to get some roller blades, and so I did! We used to skate around, me and my other friend, and one time about a week before starting the fifth grade I fell and bumbed my eyebrow leaving me with a huge bump, haha! At school in that time, 5th grade, I never really had many friends I guess, and was a lot of times treated badly from my classmates... I guess it was because of that one thing that happened.. never mind that now, but I had a friend that I had met in my class, one of the ones I mentioned, and we also hanged around with another guy there, but he was more of a school friend than a real life friend since we didn't really do much with him outside school... 6th grade was almost the same I guess...
7TH GRADE!
Haha, now this is where my real life starts to begin!
So, it was time to move on to the 7th grade so I changed school and went to Didalvi, my mother was always saying it was a great school, also hard to get in, and my grandma's neighbour worked there so I was able to get in. If I recall correctly, I used to catch a bus not very far from my place at around 7 AM, I think I arrived at 8 and something usually, and I had classes at 9AM.
So, it was time to move on to the 7th grade so I changed school and went to Didalvi, my mother was always saying it was a great school, also hard to get in, and my grandma's neighbour worked there so I was able to get in. If I recall correctly, I used to catch a bus not very far from my place at around 7 AM, I think I arrived at 8 and something usually, and I had classes at 9AM.
Still, I didn't have many people to relate to, I used to be the guy with the thick hooded coat, always under his hood, walking around with no meaning on destiny whatsoever... I think I had an acquaintance or 2 there, one was a cousin of a second degree cousin and the other... I guess I just met him there, still I hardly ever was with anyone... I can't say that up untill there I had any real goal in life, or even a meaning to study or do stuff like that, hardly ever had I done any kind of homework on any of the grades, never I had studied for a test, and did I care about it? Well... not very much at all I do believe so, I mean why should I? Had noone to keep me on going, nobody to explain to me the why of everything, my parents kept sending me to psychiatrists... Never really understood why... that time... anyway, I failed the 7th grade and had to repeat it again next year, and like almost every other thing that ever could happen to me, I didn't care, I failed I failed, end of story, past is past! I was still at Didalvi at my second attempt to do the 7th grade, even though I never used to study or anything I guess I held on rather ok so far, it was my only delayed year as well. I believe I only had like 1 or 2 days per week without classes in the afternoon, I hardly ever ate there at school both those years, I don't know why, I can't say I liked the food, still there were some ocasions when teachers or classmates forced me to eat there, and some times a teacher would come and cut my meat into little squares haha.
Yea, I guess I sometimes talked with classmates at that time, but only on classes or at the few times when I ate with them I guess... not on recesses, in that case as I said, I only walked around from one corner of the school to another, with my hood on... when I passed through a dirt field there, the kids were usually playing a game in which the drew a circle on the ground and anyone that passed over it got kicked in the shins, I sometimes cried at those times... not because of the pain, because of the confusion, hell I can't say I had someone to relate to at the time and I even got kicked on the shins because of that! Either if I had noone because of me or because of them it doesn't matter, that was the past and can't be changed now, still whatever the reason was I can't say I was that happy at all, on the other hand, I don't think I was sad... never really got affected by emotions since the 7th grade I think... On the 5th and 6th I used to cry every week for having no friends as far as I can tell... still, since the 7th things didn't really had an impact on me... I think it was since the 7th grade onwards that I haven't shed a single tear, neither for joy nor sadness, life went on, and I followed it's stream, my life was rather empty, yes... but I don't think I really thought much about it, or didn't really care since it wouldn't do much good...
I enrolled on horse-riding classes for when I had no classes on the afternoon, still I got bored rather quickly and didn't went most of the time... had no reason to go anyways... jumping a little ahead, at the 3rd term of my second 7th grade there at school, 2 of my classmates became my friends, Carla and Marlene were their names, and even though they most likely weren't, I guess they are the first registry under the Friends category... also, that other friend I had at barcelos, the one I used to get along with better, moved to lisbon about that time as well, the year before after he did the 7th grade I believe, and so I used to hang around with them, and I guess I was happy about it, we used to hang around during recess and all...
It is now close to summer, and classes are almost over, we have a farewell party for the whole school and the school's farm, we ate we saw the horses and all that, and I recall they were crying in the end because I had told them I would get out of that school and go to barcelos, of course they were also crying because it was the end of classes, a lot of people do that, but also for that reason, and it made me happy, I had someone who cared teehee ;P
I wanted to get out of that school because it was very expensive, around 150 euros per term, and there was nothing there I couldn't or wouldn't do elsewhere...
So after that I came to ESAF and I still am, at first I only talked to 1 guy in my class, but soon enough I was everyone's friend yeepee! Finally I had some! x)
Still I wasn't very much used to it and some of the physical contacts, and things like that, some people wanted to do with me I often got confused and/or thought they were joking with me, like that time when one of them asked me for a hug... well from that year onward I started to really change, I no longer used to walk around with that hood on my head, had people to hang around at recess, and had some friends... I created my e-mail on the 8th grade vacations while I was spending a month in france with my uncle, aunt, and cousins, there I also started relating a bit more with some people of my class.
9th grade... don't really remember much about that but it was almost the same I guess... same goes for 10th and 11th themselves I guess... (for now at least) although I've been contantly changing during those years (I still am, obviously) I grew stronger inside, and I started gaining a goal I believe... From that point on, what I was pulled towards was... protecting everyone I could and helping them, of course, those who were dear to me specially...
So I always did my best for everyone, wether it was making company, go get something they needed, or just to hear them and talk maybe... I always did my best for everyone, not expecting much in return that's true... I still didn't study nor did homeworks and all... still had no motivation, and whenever I asked for help with studying or doing homework or many other things normally they would all come up with lame excuses not to help me or something like that... I didn't really mind if they didn't want to do it but... of course it always brought me a little down... I mean, excuse the language but it completely sucks when you ask for help and the others don't want to bother...
I've met some very interesting people throughout my life, and talked to people from many countries as well, I also talked with people nobody would care much about because they were too shy or something... Now it's the 12th grade... im the only one from I class I've been on for like 3-4 years... Still, even though I loved all of them, I'm happy that I changed, furthermore, I've been offered help with works and studying almost from the beggining! And I think I've already made some great friends ;D
Their will of helping me studying and doing some works and all that... the fact that they talk to me on the msn (for example) even if they are really busy... just knowing that motivated me a lot for everything! I even did the dishes once because I felt like it when my mother wasn't home haha!
And... I guess that's all I can think of for now...
Now it's time for the almighty:
PS: I had english on my 2nd and 4th grades, and french on the 3rd. ever since I was little I had much contact with english, was it by games or TV shows, and I guess that's how im the way I am with english today.
FINAL NOTE: It's all of those events through my life that made me what I am today, and if I could go back in time and change whatever I pleased... I'de change NOTHING!
Yea, I guess I sometimes talked with classmates at that time, but only on classes or at the few times when I ate with them I guess... not on recesses, in that case as I said, I only walked around from one corner of the school to another, with my hood on... when I passed through a dirt field there, the kids were usually playing a game in which the drew a circle on the ground and anyone that passed over it got kicked in the shins, I sometimes cried at those times... not because of the pain, because of the confusion, hell I can't say I had someone to relate to at the time and I even got kicked on the shins because of that! Either if I had noone because of me or because of them it doesn't matter, that was the past and can't be changed now, still whatever the reason was I can't say I was that happy at all, on the other hand, I don't think I was sad... never really got affected by emotions since the 7th grade I think... On the 5th and 6th I used to cry every week for having no friends as far as I can tell... still, since the 7th things didn't really had an impact on me... I think it was since the 7th grade onwards that I haven't shed a single tear, neither for joy nor sadness, life went on, and I followed it's stream, my life was rather empty, yes... but I don't think I really thought much about it, or didn't really care since it wouldn't do much good...
I enrolled on horse-riding classes for when I had no classes on the afternoon, still I got bored rather quickly and didn't went most of the time... had no reason to go anyways... jumping a little ahead, at the 3rd term of my second 7th grade there at school, 2 of my classmates became my friends, Carla and Marlene were their names, and even though they most likely weren't, I guess they are the first registry under the Friends category... also, that other friend I had at barcelos, the one I used to get along with better, moved to lisbon about that time as well, the year before after he did the 7th grade I believe, and so I used to hang around with them, and I guess I was happy about it, we used to hang around during recess and all...
It is now close to summer, and classes are almost over, we have a farewell party for the whole school and the school's farm, we ate we saw the horses and all that, and I recall they were crying in the end because I had told them I would get out of that school and go to barcelos, of course they were also crying because it was the end of classes, a lot of people do that, but also for that reason, and it made me happy, I had someone who cared teehee ;P
I wanted to get out of that school because it was very expensive, around 150 euros per term, and there was nothing there I couldn't or wouldn't do elsewhere...
So after that I came to ESAF and I still am, at first I only talked to 1 guy in my class, but soon enough I was everyone's friend yeepee! Finally I had some! x)
Still I wasn't very much used to it and some of the physical contacts, and things like that, some people wanted to do with me I often got confused and/or thought they were joking with me, like that time when one of them asked me for a hug... well from that year onward I started to really change, I no longer used to walk around with that hood on my head, had people to hang around at recess, and had some friends... I created my e-mail on the 8th grade vacations while I was spending a month in france with my uncle, aunt, and cousins, there I also started relating a bit more with some people of my class.
9th grade... don't really remember much about that but it was almost the same I guess... same goes for 10th and 11th themselves I guess... (for now at least) although I've been contantly changing during those years (I still am, obviously) I grew stronger inside, and I started gaining a goal I believe... From that point on, what I was pulled towards was... protecting everyone I could and helping them, of course, those who were dear to me specially...
So I always did my best for everyone, wether it was making company, go get something they needed, or just to hear them and talk maybe... I always did my best for everyone, not expecting much in return that's true... I still didn't study nor did homeworks and all... still had no motivation, and whenever I asked for help with studying or doing homework or many other things normally they would all come up with lame excuses not to help me or something like that... I didn't really mind if they didn't want to do it but... of course it always brought me a little down... I mean, excuse the language but it completely sucks when you ask for help and the others don't want to bother...
I've met some very interesting people throughout my life, and talked to people from many countries as well, I also talked with people nobody would care much about because they were too shy or something... Now it's the 12th grade... im the only one from I class I've been on for like 3-4 years... Still, even though I loved all of them, I'm happy that I changed, furthermore, I've been offered help with works and studying almost from the beggining! And I think I've already made some great friends ;D
Their will of helping me studying and doing some works and all that... the fact that they talk to me on the msn (for example) even if they are really busy... just knowing that motivated me a lot for everything! I even did the dishes once because I felt like it when my mother wasn't home haha!
And... I guess that's all I can think of for now...
Now it's time for the almighty:
PS: I had english on my 2nd and 4th grades, and french on the 3rd. ever since I was little I had much contact with english, was it by games or TV shows, and I guess that's how im the way I am with english today.
FINAL NOTE: It's all of those events through my life that made me what I am today, and if I could go back in time and change whatever I pleased... I'de change NOTHING!
I read your post with great, great interest. I had already felt this somehow. I mean, not the facts but I kind of knew there was something like this behind you. The candid way u say these things is so refreshing to read and it shows just how everyting in life has a purpose. So you're right to be relaxed about what it brings your way: it's taking u somewhere where it is meant to take.
ResponderEliminarI am quite disconcerted with the lucidity of your account of your feelings and reasons. Thank u very much!
I have given u a mark before, so this time it will just be: See u in 2 weeks' time!