Sup B?

So this has been a great week actually :)

Well, everything has it's ups and downs but the balance was really good :)
Just decided that from now on, all my class presentations and works are gonna be made entirely different, I will actually do things in a way that can (hopefully) captivate the listeners and hopefully it will all go well.

Also I started making the game again, well, completing actually, I am stalled now but that is because I couldn't work on it. It's ok though,  I will tomorrow or something :)

Hope I can do it and hope all goes well ^^

Now I must go, duty calls me, but I bet it will send me away instantly haha. bye ^^

(and just like that, I'm single)

Gudda newze!

And that's it, don't be nosy now! :D

Sup dead thing?

Yup, you bloggy, I'll just call you "B".

Ya know what B? Just 6 more views and I shall have 1337 total views! w0ot! trololol


AAAAAAAAAAANYWAY, I am sleepy... and for some reason... maybe some very special reason... I decided to get back here and start writing.

First, my life's current achievements and skills gained or things doing or bla bla bla youknowwhatImeanbutifyoudon'tthenhopefullyyouwillbecauseIwillsaywhatIhavedoneandstuffandyoucantakeyourownconclusionsfromtherealrightBandpals?

Ok good, so here goes:

- I still haven't worked much on sad mary since I managed to make a button work on the shop menu... I side-tracked a but... as usual... (dammit I hate being like this...);

- I have started to learn about linux, not just having it installed on my computer, actually studying it with a pdf and some practice according to what they say and... god... DAMN! They were NOT kidding when they said that I had to read a LOT! Imagine, the pdf has around 220 pages... and now and then they tell us "now try and type man ls" ("man" being the command for acessing the "manual" pages, and "ls" the command itself) and that manual page has around 170 lines (or more) of information... now imagine that on hundreds of possible commands, not to mention that "ls" is one of the simplest commands (it only shows what files you have on a folder)... there are ALSO the info pages... which are something like the man pages so yeah... a LOT of reading...;

- Guitar is stalled as well... thanks *me* for being so productive with your life...;

- FINALLY!!! I DID SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED TO! :D
I managed to host a server (for Terraria in this case) without any use of hamachis, or any kind of software to create virtual networks! ^^
Basically I can now host a server with as many people as I want and without them having to install complicated craps and stuff ^^

(BY THE WAY: if someone likes Terraria please please please tell me so we can play together :') (((specially you))) );

- And btw, side note, SCP containment breach is now on version 0.5.6! Which means that now there really is an escape! xD
... but it did get a lot harder... just saying spoilerlessly...
If you wanna try it out, here: SCPcbgame and be warned: ... just... don't try it if getting scared can kill ya...

- Dunno... think that must be it for now...



Now... about life itself... there has been lots and lots of things to think about lately... about various amounts of subjects... about college teachers?... I will not even talk about that... I have wasted enough time doing it already... I'll just hope the students' evaluations will do anything in the end...
Nah... the other stuff... don't think classes are going all that bad so I don't think they're an issue... either way, they are not even that hard most of them.
Now... I'm not saying it's been easy, but I'm not about to give up.

Sure life gets hard some times. Sure we some times may even feel like giving up and throw it all away. Of course we all think at times that something is bound to fail and lose all of our hope, or enter in despair because of the imminent destiny... but I usually am not affected by any of that... but of course, I in no way mean that things don't happen to me, oh no! They do and they do a LOT! Nearly everyday from everywhere.

Be it for my way of being, for a thing I said, for me just existing at that space, for some random reason, for a misunderstanding, from a miscalculated plan, etc etc etc...

But I always try to look on the bright side, on what to do to fix that before it happens and, if I can't think of a way to stop or change it, I'll just remodel my thoughts to "What will happen if THAT happens?" and "How will it then affect me and my life?" and even if all that is "bad" for me let's face it... if I just got worried or sad or anything.... what would happen then? The future or past wouldn't change, and the only difference would be that I would be feeling bad then while/after it happened and/or "now" for thinking about it.

Of course, I in no way mean that we shouldn't care... I'm just saying that if it happens, just face it the best way you can, it will all fix itself with time...

Between the choice of "Something happening and me getting miserable" and "Something happening and me moving on and feeling well" of course I would rather feel well... is that not true for every person?

I don't know... I am kind of glad I have that "gift" of being able to face adversities with a smile on my face, I mean... what have I to lose...?...

Well... there is only one thing I do not want to lose... you may know what it is, or you may not... chances are, if you are reading this, specially if you got here to this part of the text, you MUST know what it is... and no it's not air... I think I would be better without air actually than...

But it doesn't matter now... Still on topic of "bad" events... How can I remain sad at something if at the end of the day... I can hold her tight in my arms? I mean... seriously... There is nothing in the world... that could be stronger than that... no matter what catastrophe could happen... just lying in bed next to her would automatically cleanse me of all bad things... I fell calm... in peace... I feel warm and fuzzy... I feel... happy :)

Not happy as my body has gotten used to all these years, not the regular generic "happy"... but happy all over... I literally feel it in my whole body, my chest, my arms, my legs, my head, my eyes...

Her alone takes away all rights I might have for ever being sad... eheheh.... my cute little angel ^^

I think that might be the only link between me and sadness... while I have her I don't think I'll ever be able to truly be sad... and I don't mind at all for that! In fact... if that is the only real link... I sure do hope I never get sad...

She brings me happiness every day... just thinking about her and our past moments... I'm crazy for that girl!
But of course, she is not "mine" as in it's still her life and she has her own decisions... And I shall always be there for her, no matter what :)

Gotta take care of what's good to ya right? And since she is my miracle cure... I think it's about fare that I take care of her and protect her the rest of my life right? ^^

Now it is late so I better go... but there is just so much to say...

Either way... I just wish I can get a good laptop soon... one that would run almost all application and software and had a big harddrive and battery life...

Farewell me cobweb-filled piece of Internet files! Farewell B! Until next time.

Just to keep you alive...

... really, not much to say now, except that maybe I pooped so hard my face got red.

Also my keyboard is sucking again.

And that's about it...

Bye

Late writing... part... I don't know but let's say 1 for a start

The reason of the title is that this is one of the many things I think about writing here but only do so a long time later... in  this case, what I'm about to write is something I thought about around a month and a half ago, before my birthday a few days...

So, on one of those days, even before the day 19 I believe, my parents were out so I went to Mc Donalds to eat... as I was going home from there I looked at some of the girls I passed by, all of the full of make up, with trendy clothes and all kinds of accessories, I also looked around and saw, also thought, about how many of them are there like that... and then I thought about what I have... I simple... pure... natural girlfriend, with no make up and the clothes she likes, those that she doesn't really care what they are, and those that look like they have a few decades (not on the condition,  but the design).
And then I think to myself... there are so many girls like that... and I "got" one that's the total opposite... I truly am the  luckiest guy alive! Seriously! You have no idea how glad I get when I think about the girlfriend I have and compare her to all the other girls! Guess what... you CAN'T even compare them! She is just so perfect! She is everything I always wanted... and much more! She is also the cutest thing alive even WITHOUT ANY make up or something of the sort... she truly is a wonderful master piece... one that makes me happy... just by existing...

Good night, and I will see you again in the future :)

head hurts

therefore me no write much today... bye then

11-09-2012 - 23:40

Myrri... where could you be...?

Random thoughts and life paradoxes...

Well... ever since I can remember I like to intellectualize and try to figure everything out on every angle I could... and ever since a long time ago I thought about some random existence paradoxes... which make no sense with either alternative...

The first two I found were almost at the same time... and thinking about it are somewhat connected.


Let's start from the beginning... so the first one is time... maybe not the most paradoxical when thinking about the maximum limit but... anyway... if you think about the BEGINNING of time... then that alone would make no sense... since time is time, if it started somewhere, then there would be time before that... you can start tracking time after certain events... true... like when someone is born for example, you can account that as a time start... but there was time after that of course... but what about time? Was there time after time? Any answer be it "Yes" or "No", seems to make it wrong and contradictory...

If "Yes", then was was before that? And when did it begin? That "Yes" turns to "No" as that "start" was actually not the start, but a continuity... and if "No"... then that right there seems to become false, as there HAD to be something before it... no?

And what about the end? It should... technically... end... right? We probably won't be here but it is bound to... but then again, since it's "time", there would be more after it right? You figure it out...

I will not think about how it all began... as I never really thought about that but...

I can talk about paradox number two which is... space and it's limits...

Sure... the space is pretty big, and it does appear endless... but that there, that "limit" or lack of it is the paradox itself... it doesn't really make sense that the space is infinite does it? I mean... There has to be a point where it just stops right? But if it does stop... then what? Will you just hit a "wall"? And if you did, technically, there should still be something on the other side of that "wall" right?
Of course I wasn't the only one to think about this obviously... there are theories about that space issue, I read one once that supposedly, when you reach an "edge" of the universe you would loop and go back the other side and supposedly anyone present making that loop would start seeing everything in reverse, for example, you know that ambulances have "ambulance" written backwards on the front? So that when you saw it from the mirror you would read "Ambulance" regularly?
Well, these people would see everything just like that mirrored "Ambulance" text... I'll call that "mirror state" in case I need to use it again one day here...

But of course... that is a theory... and most likely was made since that space issue was one without a logical solution... so a loop does look plausible.

In case someone's interested, I read it in a book called "Introdução à teoria da relatividade"... by someone who I do not remember correctly but... I think it was vi(c)tor something or something vi(c)tor...

It was a tiny green book which was really, REALLY old, in fact, it seemed to have been written using a type-writer... but I did learn a lot from it, maybe I'll go try and find it again one day haha...



Well all these seem to have odd and contradictory solutions... unless "time" and "space" are things of an even more bizarre and strange nature that any of us had ever even began pondering about... even though I'm sure Einstein could have been close... if you read that book... holy freegin carp! That tiny equation he came up with, the famous "E=mc2" think... it explains almost EVERYTHING in the whole universe! And he did it WAY before it was even possible to imagine being able to test it and prove it, which was done decades later and that theory DID hold water... on most cases, there are some variations in which that theory didn't quite stay true... but he knew that, he made another "special" theory that would fill all gaps!

All this to say... yea... I'm pretty sure that equation also has the ability to find out what time really is and what affects it... time travel is a small example... but now it REALLY is late... so... half gift given...



Bye peopleszeszszeezssz ^^

Before going to bed...

Well, previously during the night I was reading a bit on what this "Slenderman" is, as it seems to be appearing quite frequently these past days... it is supposedly an adult figure with tentacles or something and no face, like a mannequin... (hm... is that word like that because of "man" and "kin"? As in it means it's a kind of man?.... well, doesn't matter now) and I read there that some believe in the tulpa effect, which consists more or less of multiple people believing in something's existence will eventually make it turn real, material, existing, even if it started just as an idea, and in this case, if many people believed in the Slenderman then he/it would become real... anyways since of the "XXX effect" title of that I decided to do some research, while I waited for her to come say "good night" one last time or something.... or not but I studied a bit about the doppler effect and sonic booms (and turns out I already knew what the doppler effect was, just didn't remember hahah)...


Anyway... My point is... after that I followed some links in the Slenderman's page... which led me deeper into the Internet... Most of you don't even know what I'm talking about... but there are parts of the Internet that not all of us go to... not saying this one was one of them, but was getting close...

Well, it was a site with stories supposed to be scary and all, well I do know most of them (at least most) are supposed to be just made up and for shivery effects... the first one I read was called "An egg", with the plain image of an egg... as weird and oddly funny as that was (being a supposed "horror" page) I clicked it... well it was a normal story, nothing scary actually, but it was quite fascinating and cool! In fact, I did post it on facebook... since it's late and all, not sure if many or any will see it... but certainly recommend it :)

Then I moved on to one called "Dead Bart"... which also had a picture of a zombie looking Bart Simpson... I also thought it was rather lol-worthy, and funny and all so I started reading... that's when it began... I started to not look at that image the same way as I went on reading it... and mind you, I am very strong as of these things, but I cannot lie, I did shiver a lot while reading that (and the next stories too...)... in fact, I am shivering all over my body just thinking about it... I will not recommend anyone to read those things I found there (not only those two or course), unless you have something to keep you steady... and specially not during night time...

But truth be told, I could have been more scared. Firstly because I was listening to random music from final fantasy IX (just now switched to final fantasy VIII but isn't working for some reason... ok done) and with the thought in mind that... I have her :)

True... I am strong and all but... I really did feel much better just thinking about her, that's why I read so many stories and... saw... those images... because I thought "I don't care how scary or fear inducing these things are before I go to bed... If I get any troubled thoughts I will just think of her... and that light will clear the darkness =) "... It is true that I actually thought that, and what's more, tomorrow I will be with her, so I will feel even better with her ^^

Don't think I want her to see any of that... well.... maybe apart from "An Egg" but... I wish for her to be happy and I don't want her to read, see or hear anything that could trouble her...



But if she really wanted to or something... I hope it will be in a time where I can be with her for long...

Not because I think she is weak or that she can't handle it but... I want  to be there and comfort her if she needs it, as these are no ordinary horror stories and are even much worse than those mails that tell you to send the things to hundreds of people or you would get an horrible fate...

Well yea, their nature does seem to be somewhat the same... Simply something created to be spread around the Internet, frightening and moving the reader...


Those stories are very powerful indeed and it is rare for me to say this...

Also, I would like to add that I read the ones (but not all) in the "Suggested Reading" section... in other words, to get started as they say... I'm not sure if they are the "softest", "most widely known" (well... yea, that I think they are), or simply the strongest so that you start really strong in it...

Either way... those things are masterfully crafted, they really did capture the essence of fear and uncertainty... and could make the simplest thing, even a drawing or a dog, a sight that you would rather not think about again... actually, now that I think about it, I am pretty sure that despite all, the thing that makes my body act more violently (as in shaking and stuff) was... in fact... a cartoon... more precisely the Bart one... even though it was the one who I initially "laughed" more at...

But all in all, most were easy to cope with, since you could find one or two traces that made it look like they were made up, such as very convenient evidence destructions, lack of proofs, unnecessary events, etc...




And with all that said, now it's time... I'm pretty sure today I will "need" her a bit more in my thought than usual though ehehhe :P

But I'm ok... because I have her ^^

She makes me happy ^^

... in fact... I think I will make some gifts for her ^^
Farewell waking up early tomorrow hahaha

I could feel better...

First I'd like to say that the past few months I've been thinking of countless ideas to write here... needless to say, I've not written any...

But I just had to write this... I could feel better now...

Here's the story, today I went to have dinner in a friend's house, after eating we were talking and all, and then me and her mother talked a lot, about our country's education system, what did she work on, etc.

All fine and good but then I looked at the time and "oh wow.. it's already 1 AM" but we talked a bit more... then  looked at it again and "oh look... it's now 4 AM!"... so I came home... when I left I sent "her" a message.... but then I saw it  wasn't delivered... so I just ran home... so that if she would be waiting for me... I would be there and at least say sorry... I wanted to talk to her... just talk... I missed her... so I ran, because if she was waiting... I didn't want her to wait any longer... I got home... she wasn't on facebook... so I turned on msn... she was there... with her status as "away" but she was there! I was really happy but a bit fearful... Checked if she was there and called for her... she didn't reply and then she got offline... What I thought was that she was waiting for me... but fell asleep with the computer turned on... and then the battery ran out just as I got home...

Now I just want to go to bed so that this day will end and I can talk to her... so bye

What... or who am I?

I have changed along the years, true... but I think some things have been the same  along the years.

In the past, I believe  I developed an extreme resistance to pain... both kinds of pain... I can handle very well almost all kinds of psychological pressure, and I guess that's why... some times people may think I'm cold... I am not, I simply have the ability to control myself really really well.

But of course, even despite all that and my ability to cope with whatever might come my way... there are still things that I never EVER want to lose... her of course...

I've never had anything like her... and I'm just so lucky that I do now! and I'm dead serious!

Speaking of that... nah never mind, I'll put that in another post...


Anyway, what I mean is... I do appreciate what I have... but some times it might just look like I don't care 100%... but I DO!

Of course I miss her... and I miss her dearly... but there are a few reasons why I don't really mind that much to not be with her for like one more week... eheh you'll see later ^.^

Anyways... that's about it for now... :)

Tu...

Morrow...

Too late... or too soon?

Of course  I'm talking about the time when I published this... which is  now...

Anyway, that doesn't matter so... onward...

I spent like the last 3 week away, it was really fun and cool ^^

True... I gained a little obsession there but... it's a lot better now at least =)

Anyway... I want a puppy :(

But I also want a lot of time to raise one so... maybe after college? Probably... I'll try... At least I have my brother  to back me up on  the decision eheheh...

Also, I bought her a little dress, I almost had to force her to accept her and in the end, I'm really glad she did, and she liked it as well ^^

And she looks so gorgeous in it... it fits her so well ^^

Can't wait for the moment where we can go for  a walk or something and her wearing that dress... it's so cute :)

And, again, since it's cute, it also means it fits her ^^

Well I don't have much more to say.. lately I've been trying to make a "wishlist" of games I'd like on the ps3... but since my friend has half of them, some I can simply try to borrow ^^

And that's about it.. I don't have a lot more to say... I think...

Oh yeah...

I forgot to mention that today I had an awesome message on the top of my youtube page... it said:
"Congratulations! Your account has now been activated for submissions with over 15 minutes of length."

Which means... yay! I don't have to worry about making videos with less that 15 minutes anymore ^^

Apart from that game-making thing I was doing I forgot that I had once made a few "Let's play" videos on youtube, a guy commented on one of them saying it was great and that he'd keep watching.. well after reading that, I decided to continue the series afters months, and so I did, I also re-uploaded my videos because the first 2 parts would freeze a lot and the image would all be messed up!

If you're interested I'll put the videos here and you can watch them (the re-uploaded versions of course)


This is the intro of the game, I made it separate from the first part because the video exceeded 15 minutes... and it wouldn't let me publish it...


This is the beginning of the game and the basics and all that... I'm still a bit mike-shy as you can see x)


Second part, the continuation of the first... clearly


And this is the last part I've made (so far...)... I think I messed up in the middle...



And that's it! If you wanna see the rest from here out, follow me on youtube and check there some times ;)

Hope I'll keep it up this time... cheers!

Today...

Today for a few hours... I wasn't myself... I don't know why... I was angry... revolted at many things.... that is NOT the me I know AT ALL!...

Sure... the game I wanted to play with my brother wasn't working... the Internet was failing... I couldn't go to the living room where the playstation is because my dad had lots of people coming to see him and more kept coming... and I was the one who had to go answer the doorbell...

Then we had to go to my grandma's place and my mother started yelling and all that... about all those little things that apart from making me who I am and others that have NO importance at all... I don't know what gotten into me... I still don't think it was any of that that made me feel that way... well, sure, I hate when my family starts yelling at me about things that I disagree on, like my appearance or something... so what if I want to let my hair grow? I don't like it... no... but I am above that, that's not what concerns me...

Apart from that... maybe the reason is that I miss her... It's the only difference in my life that I can think about...

Anyway we went to my grandma's... When I got inside I noticed I didn't have one of my cellphones with me (the one with the 91 on it if you wanna know) so back outside to get it, I figured it fell out of my pocket into the car seat... the car was locked but since I was in such a weird state and it wasn't all that bad outside I thought "meh... maybe I'll go have a walk during the night..." so I went on along the dark road... on the village you don't have much light... one street light once in a while... and maybe a car that occasionally passes by... and there I was... walking along... not knowing what to think, feel or even do... went around the village... thinking how one day if I could... maybe... bring her along in our bikes... passing through a field I once discovered while riding my bike... it looks hidden and even in the middle of all those houses... you pretty much only see a field and flowers... I love it there... but I didn't go there because I thought it was too far... funny thing is, in the end I decided to pass by it... but just before that... I leaned against a wall and just stood there for a minute or two... I can't even say if I was thinking or simply existing... I did think about writing this I'm writing now... and how I think so many  times "I should write this and that on the blog" and 99% of the times I don't... either way... I went around the other side to go back to my grandmother's place... that village is the place of my childhood and it was rather nice to see it again...

When I got back I wasn't much better than I was but... I decided to go and be with Ninja a bit (my grandma's dog), he's a small  black and white dog, always full of energy and always shaking with excitement when he sees someone... I went there and he was, of course, almost strangling himself to just come closer to me, I went there and crouched, put my hand on his head and he held himself up by putting his paws on my other hand... I don't know... there's something about that dog... how he's so full of energy and when you're close he's just so happy and well just for you to be there... and you really feel it... I've never sensed such emotions on any dog or animal... his affection and his happiness... the face he makes when you touch him... I don't know...

But from that point on, and I only stood there no more than 15 seconds... I was instantly happy again!

It was strange... but I did!

I went back him and everyone asked where I was (aka, my mom), I didn't say anything but soon enough my aunt Paula (which I've gained a lot more liking today) (or maybe it was my godmother? doesn't really matter now) said "he went to see the village right?" "yup, something like that".

Well, after dinner, and as expected, my mom started criticizing me and stuff, about all I said before, hair and all that... but my aunt defended me, it was strange... I mean strange as in... usually criticizing me is easy and all, but never had I seen someone defend me or at least talk for me...

She said that each one has it's own styles and all that... and all of a sudden all the pressure was relieved from me...

Well after that we were all sharing stories and things we did way back then... maybe I'll tell some later...


Then we told jokes to one another...

It was nice... actually nice... I think it was the first time I actually liked a familiar event... maybe because I wasn't in the "kids" table today nor did I go and play with them and stuff? Don't know... just know that it was nice =)

And I found out... well I think I already had an idea but... that there is someone very close to me who's great at drawing! And I mean it ^^

Plus I can feel it in her that she really likes arts and stuff like that... it kinda fits her, and she's talented to it =)

That's all I have to say... just two more days hopefully...

I'm tired... from the inside and the outside... I need to be with her... it's been too long... maybe that's what's been messing me up...

M...?... Please tell me we'll be together soon :)

meh...

Don't feel like writing much... not in a bad mood or anything...

In a way, wish I could have been with her today... even though it was my fault that we weren't but... on the other hand... maybe it wasn't that bad that we weren't together... well sure, I didn't like it but maybe this way we'll be a bit better if we can't stay together for longer...

Well that's about it, but I can't wait to be with her though ^^

Even if it's just to go on a walk... teehee, ily ^^

3 Months...

It's been 3 months since a certain thing became official... It started well... it went on well... and it still seems to be doing great...

I've found a girlfriend that I am certain that if I were to lose her by any chance... and get another in the future, I would always remember her dearly... always miss her... why? Because she is so perfect... she is beautiful, she has a great personality... she is funny... she loves animals... I... I never would have dreamed of ever having someone as precious as her in my life... not even as a friend... she is like an angel coming straight into my life... I still pray for us both to be happy and for a long time... which... I'm sure we'll be :)

I will never let her go no matter what happens! No matter what she does... no matter what people say.... no matter what I do... she is a constant in my life that I wish to maintain!

I would write a lot more... but with this computer... if this wasn't important to me, I wouldn't even start writing this!
This computer is just too horribly slow while typing and "eats" half of the letters...

But then again, I would do anything for this girl... this angel whose wings one cannot see, but that we can see soaring high upon the sky...
My heart belongs to you and only you M... don't you ever forget that, I'll always love you...




I know you don't like Bon Jovi... but this song... these lyrics are all I feel...

Have a nice day tomorrow... 3 months of many more to come, and I can't wait to live them with you =)

I love you so very much... sleep well my angel, and have sweet dreams ^^

I pray... I really do...

Meh, since pretty much nobody reads this anyway here it goes...
Sure, usually when I was at home, before I went to bed I always prayed... don't really know why, never really thought hard about does He or something exist or not... does praying do any good, bad or nothing at all... but the thing is, I always did it... well, at least from a few years  until now...

But I never really prayed for stuff like "oh God, let me pass the exam please!", "God, I really want that t-shirt but  my mom doesn't want to give it to me, please make it happen" or any kind of selfish stuff like that... in fact... I hardly ever prayed for anything that could be good for me... all I always "said"  was "thank you for everything you've given me and make  everyone happy and well"... and that's usually what I always said... but ever since... I don't know... 3... 4... or more months I've also been praying for something else... thanking for something to have entered my life and asking for it to stay until the end of time, no matter what would happen that "thing" would never be far from me, and I also always pledge the oath that I would do anything in my power to make that person happy and give her all that she needs...

I still do pray that, both of the things... the first is a general thing of course, but the second is as if I was really asking him face-to-face to grant that...

That's pretty much what I had to say... gtg pray in a while if ya know what I mean... meh... I've been going to bed really  late these days....


Also, I want a dog :/

Fact:

I have the most awesome girlfriend ever, period! xD

No wait... not that... ew! D:

What's wrong with me...

Why is it that when I have to work I just get... stuck... paralyzed... Today... like an hour ago or so... I had to do some work for an English assignment... I just froze there... staring blankly at the screen for god knows how long... I don't know why, it's not like I was procrastinating or something, I could be playing a game or something but I wasn't! I knew I had to work, and this time I really meant to do it... so I just froze there... why?... what the hell is wrong with me?! How can I change this? SHOULD I change this?

Bah... I always wished school evaluations varied depending on the student... I can do stuff... I know stuff... I can comprehend nearly everything with little effort... but I was never a good student... because I never did any homework, because I didn't deliver my works, because I didn't do this or that bla bla bla... I always felt it was a bit unfair... it's not like I didn't care... but I just couldn't do stuff at home, I wouldn't mind at all to have special evaluations or tests from my teachers or something, WITH THEM IN SCHOOL! Because it is known that it's almost impossible for me to work at home... because of all that, my grades was always crappy... well, except on one or two subjects, either because the teacher would understand me a bit, or because there were no works, or because they were subjects where I would just be great at, such as English, gym, etc... but I don't say this just for me, I think that every student should have a slightly different evaluation depending on how they are... after all, what's more important? The final result? The product that's made or the things that were learned? Or that a person did that by following a certain path?
It's just stupid... who cares if you get a result of 45 by doing (40 + 5), or (50 - 5) or (2 x 10 + 5^2)!? YOU STILL GET THE NUMBER 45!!! The goal in everyone's life is to reach a goal, school's aim is to make kids ready for their future jobs, supposedly at least... so who cares how they do it if they get the correct result?!
Sure, no one expects them to just magically know everything on their own, teach them the formulas and all that crap, but if they find a way of their own and it equals the result that the equation represented... meh, those things should even be encouraged! Thinking outside the box, being creative, solving problems on one's own... where is all that? Nowadays we're all robots, at least they expect us to be, we have to do everything as they have visualized or else we fail... what the hell is up with that?

And sure, math is one of those issues that I mentioned above, but another thing worse is literature, when they ask us to guess what some dead author meant when he wrote some random thing on his poem - AND NO! I'M NOT SAYING THIS BECAUSE IT'S ALL OVER 9GAG NOW! - what's worse, it might not even be what the poet wrote, but what the teacher thinks the poet wrote, and we have to guess what the teacher thought he meant... god dammit... some things in school are just so wrong... I know... I understand that teachers have a lot of work and all that but come on... they are only favoring one of the types of students, which are those that work at home and all that crap... if there's a student that excels at sports, if there's one that can simply solve any kind of problem that's shown in front of him, if there's a student who can simply feel the things and choose wisely, if there's a student that can analyze something he's never seen and solve it... well, none of those is going to have much luck with this education scheme... in fact, I heard that the gym classes are gonna stop counting to the calculations of a student's average grades! So if someone's good at sports but not so much at the rest... THEY FAIL AND HAVE TO END UP WITH A LOUSY JOB BECAUSE NO UNIVERSITY WOULD TAKE THEM!

And grades were also something that pissed me off... a lot... people should be more (or less) than that, grades are a label, and it's wrong to label people, so why do they do it?
People should be considered for how they are as a person and how they actually perform certain tasks... just because you had a 18/20 doesn't always mean you can do it! And vice versa... just because you had a bad grade doesn't mean you can't work on that area, it just means you weren't evaluated positively... for example, I've seen a lot of people with like, 18 out of 20 in the English class, oh yeah pretty nice and all, but you couldn't have a conversation with them, they wouldn't understand and couldn't speak back to you, and that's where all of what I said above also becomes true, it's because they did work at home and crappy things like that, if it's "fair" to penalize those who know because they didn't work, is it also "fair" to uprise those who know nothing just because they did things like "My favorite food is bacon but I also like cheese a lot" which was the homework the teacher sent? Is it fair that those who don't know get the best chances in life just because of that and then won't even do a decent job?

Grades are not quality... the quality is inside each one, and that quality should be seeked, checked, tested, put to proof, be found out for what the person is and what the person can do, for her ability and not for her making things once in a while because someone said so or else they would fail...

And it's never even important work that we have to do either... it's always silly things like "My pet cat" or "my dream holiday" or something like "when I grow up I want to be..."... why should that be so important in our lives? Or our school evaluation? Why is it that when we know all kinds of different equations and formulas, square and cubic roots, functions, graphics that when tend to infinity equal zero and all that, and then we get a subject that's like an introduction at math, and they start by learning summation, they are going to fail us because we didn't do our exercise sheet that was sent home that consisted in:

" 2 + 2 = _;
  1 + 0 = _;

It's ok if you don't do this one student's, it's very very hard! :)

45 + 88 = ___."

And they the teacher comes and says stuff like "sorry but I can't pass you, you didn't do your homework..."

Like.... WTF! What I just gave was a comparison example... and that also happens a lot... imagine a student knows stuff before being in a certain subject... of course he might be bored and not feel the need to do the exercises because they are level 1 when he's like level 37 already? That is another thing to notice... Why isn't the teaching more accurate and precise according to the student?

I don't care about the grids or the evaluation system or any of that crap... teachers should have a conscience for themselves and know what's best...

I just looked in front of me and... OH SHIT! IT'S THE SUN!

In other words... I better go to bed...

I've never written so much though... I guess that's because this is the subject that always bothered me the most... angered me... I don't know... it's so unfair... and I don't say this for me... I say this for all kids and people in the world...

Well tomorrow is back to Braga and then it's the last week of classes! yay :)

Last week I know I'll spend with her too... bah... well... I hope we can still meet up and spend a few days together in the holidays =)
I love that girl more than anything and... maybe that's why I actually did work this time... don't know if it was enough but...
And... I miss her :/
I wish she was here now... or me there... anyway... I won't think too much about it... I'll see her tomorrow won't I? :)

Then I'll be happy again ^^

She makes me happy... it's good to love and be loved... I still stand with the idea that I never want to lose her, for whatever reason! I love her more than anything and... I've never met someone so perfect for me... she's just like me in so many ways... and the opposite on one or two but... it's those two that I need to improve on, and she'll also help me achieve that... I have the perfect girlfriend that's not just my perfect match... it's my helper... my best friend... my everything...

And here I thought this would be the first topic without talking about her... ehehe, seems like I was wrong once again.

But now it really is late (or early) so I'm really going.

Cya          ,(^_^)/

One week till the end...

Well... it's really late now and my eyes are burning but let's see what's there to say...

Classes are almost over, one week from now in fact... I didn't even notice it coming! This year... my whole life went on so slow but... when I looked around, such a long time had already passed... it's weird...

I learned a lot this year, gained things that never in my life would I have gained.. the biggest and most precious of all is... well ya know, her...

Things have seen better days but... I don't think it's right for me to be thinking that much about it... of course the least thing that I want in the world is losing her! But... it's normal that everything has it's ups and downs... and it's not like we're upset or anything, just sorting our lives =)

Now we will have the big vacations... wonder how it will go... there are so many places I want to take her, so many things I want to do... maybe I won't do many of them, also because I can't drive yet but... it would be fine =)

Oh and my computer has stopped being a crap while typing!... And apparently it did so magically... I have no idea how  it suddenly got fixed  0_o

I just ran the anti-virus program but so far it hasn't encountered anything so... I dunno ¯\(°_o)/¯

Well that's about it for now...

And remember  that you will always have a home inside of my heart, you are not, and never were, any less to me in any way =)

Sorry for my weirdness though ^^

ly <3

Weekend almost over! D:

I had a great "weekend", from Wednesday onward... I went to her house and spent there 2 days, it was really nice ^^

I wrote some of the things already here, but another cute thing that happened was when we were walking around the mountains, we went to one of those parks up there, and there was some large steps and a few wall of the size of 2 or 3 steps... of course, any person or medium/large dog have no  trouble going up through there, butt the puppy was very small and could hardly go up a step hehehe... So we decided that she would go up that little wall with Lee (the large dog) and see how he would react... and so we did... the puppy started to look around, trying to hop and see from above but soon enough he started yelping (that's like doggie cries that we all know), then he turned at me (I was behind him) he started yelping at me and then suddenly, he lifted himself with his back paws and lifted his front ones towards me, arching down as if saying "oh please put me up there ;_;" it waas so incredibly cute!!! ^^ teehhee ehehheheheh *.*

xD

LoL

hahah xD

oh well fun times x)

RODA GIGANTE!

Uhm sorry, just came into my mind, ANYWAY!
Meh... the idea was for me to go with my parents and uncles to Ponte de Lima, then they would  leave me at her house and when they were finished walking around they would get us and take us to Braga... But now they don't know if they are going at all to Ptl... it depends on the weather they say... if it is raining we might not go :/
I hope it's sunny tomorrow... even though we are gonna be back together in Braga I wanted to be with her tomorrow whenever I could... it would be so nice to spend the day together and then go with her to Braga... I love her so much, I miss her so much even though I've seen her  just little hours ago...

eheh... funny... usually people get tired of things after a while, everything is fun and cool when something starts, the first few days are awesome and all that, but then we start to get tired... and yup, I suffer from that a lot, be it guitar, gaming, programming... whatever, I do it a lot and dedicate myself to it but after a week... it starts fading... but not this... relationship... I never felt it fading... sure there were times when I felt a bit uneasy, thinking that I might have messed up on something or anything like that...

That is one of my biggest fears... messing up and losing it... the thing that I cherish the most in my whole life... I shudder every time I hear the word "break up"... even if it's only joking... :/


But meh... I don't wanna think about it, and I'm still confident that it wont... at least not in the next decades hehehe :P

That would be great... and the way things have been going I think that is almost a certain thing that will happen... I will love her for all time that I am given, and that is a promise! :)

Eheheh... I took so long to write this... maybe half an hour or more? No... definitely more, but oh well =)

I love her so much, she's everything to me ^^

And she is perfect... her face, body, personality, sense of humor... everything ^^
She's so cute and sweet... She can make my heart melt many times in a day... with just small little things... You guys have no idea how much she means to me and the value she has!

This is not an exaggeration or those things that people in love say just because they are in love, no, this is real, I really do feel all this, and if I wasn't in this relationship my mind wouldn't be any different... just maybe not as happy every day eheheh... but close if I still had her like this =)

Value what you have... one day... you will get a treasure like none other... I have found mine... I want to keep it until I move on from this world... even if she is gone before me, she will always be by my side...

M... ilyvmwamh ^^

Stuff and all... game-wise

First of all... about that game... I still haven't continued it's development... however I've had tons of new ideas and suggestions and made a phew graphical changes, mostly for 2 reasons:

1) I removed my "friend's" face which brings a few advantages:
    1.1) I can put it freely on the Internet without compromising her privacy and all that
    1.2) The file size drops immensely! From like 2MB to 80kb... that's good performance-wise...
    1.3) Gives some originality to the game and maybe a future character for my games? :P
2) Yea... I was gonna talk about the file size but it's already up there so... meh, the file size.

Some of the ideas include some types of possible upgrades, levels, which menus should I create etc etc...

But now I'm looking for the music of the game, I'm trying to find a (preferably) short loop of an indie source of some kind, looking at newgrounds audio portal, that way I get a "fresh" new and original music to my game and give the opportunity to someone else to have their work around the Internet :)
The game is pretty much on stand-by until I find the right music to put in it... so I don't really know when I'll make any major update.

Chuva

ChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuvaChuva

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Well, isto era pra ter ficado  tudo giro e tal mas as usual o blogger nao curte o meu HTML... oh well

Siamese dogs

WTF moment of yesterday, we were outside of her house when we suddenly heard a lot of noise coming from the dog's house, a lot were barking and some were yelping in pain, we went there to see what was wrong... and we saw 2 of them with their butts pressed together... and they wouldn't move from one another in a long time, so we concluded... they're stuck by their genitalia... lol... should have been a bit painful but oh well... it seems to be a natural thing so we went back home with her father, who takes care of the dogs, if he says they'll be ok then we went in as well...

But the best part was, we went there in the middle of the night to see if they were still connected... they weren't but there was another dog in the place of the previous... therefore the "bitch" got stuck (at least) twice in the same day xD

And that's about it for now, have to leave, cya ^^

So darn cute! ^^

I can never get used to it, she's so darn cute!!! ^^

I almost can't stand being near to her while she's playing with a little puppy, she's so sweet ^^

I love how she speaks with that low, sweet and soft voice when she talks to the puppy ^^

Oh yeah, the puppy being there doesn't help to the cuteness either xP
So small and sloppy hahaha :P

Ehehehe words can't describe this, it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen ^^

Back to the real world now, cya =)

About blogging here and stuff...

Well I know I haven't been doing it much lately, writing that is... but I've been rather busy these days and... I don't know why, even when I technically could write it just doesn't feel right... I mean, it doesn't feel like the time to do it, I do think about what to write a lot though... not just because a certain special someone asks me to, I really do think about some things that have been going on and all...

Also I've been thinking about adding a certain something to my future posts, I could elaborate a bit on it now but... don't want to spend too much time now...

You'll see soon enough though...

SOON!

uhm... lol...

Anyway, it's been nice these days, life has changed a lot... not only mine but... I still feel it quite stable which is really nice =)

Have you ever had something that you just wished that it would "never" end? Well I do have... now more that ever... all my life I expected... waited... dreamed... for something... never had I imagined that it would be something like... this.... such perfection... something so... different yet so incredibly appealing...
She truly is one of a kind, I already felt like the worlds happiest man just for being her close friend... but having her like this is just so...

Well let's just say I dreamed a lot ok? And we all know that when we dream... we tend to exaggerate reality and make things way better than they really are or will/should be... but believe me when I say this... no dream has ever gotten close to the reality I live in now... I guess... there is something or someone out there for all of us... it will find you... if you have faith and wait... don't rush anything... it will just appear...

Good luck believing in it though, I still hardly can =)

Well bed time now so... cya ^^

Hey look! It's late as hell 0_o (for the day of the week ehehehe...)

Cya ,(^_^)/

FITU week... OVER!!!

FINALLY it is over! And I don't say this just because all that hard work and no sleeping has ended... I'm specially glad because now I'll have more free  time... free time for her, I finally get to spend day and night with her without worrying about having to work or something ^^

Of course there are also some advantages to it... most of all, since I worked so much I feel that I am "forgiven" by all of the caloiros and tunos... well, most at least... we worked a lot during the week and during FITU, I went to the stage to jump just by myself, it didn't work out perfectly but  it's a start, it's my first time jumping so... it wasn't that bad, and I got a lot of compliments, from her, my parents and some tunos so... yay ^^

One thing I found funny in FITU was the other caloiro's mood xD

Like for the last weeks they would just be mad and yell at everything. They were like that the whole weekend too... but as soon as our last performance ended and we went back to our dressing rooms... they start yelling and running all over the place making a huge party "WOOHOOO!!!" hahaha xD

With things like "BORA BUSCAR MILHOES DE INSTRUMENTOS!!! WOLVERINE, VAI LA CIMA BUSCAR MILHOES DE INSTRUMENTOS!!!" and all this while we had ALL OF THE INSTRUMENTS THAT TUNA HAS out of the boxes and needed to be put in them, and then moved back to our place xD

Well it was really fun... I'm glad she watched it and liked it ^^

But... it's all over now... finally... I really really missed her... and  on top of that my days had like  36 hours each! Imagine missing someone that much and not even get the chance to sleep so it would go by faster... also in the middle of the festival my cell ran out of battery so I couldn't even talk to her...

FITU was a fun experience but... I miss her...I miss her touch, her voice, her cute face, her beautiful eys, nose, mouth... her cute feet and her hair... I miss all  that for over a week now... even though I was with her last thursday, however, even that feels like it's been weeks since I was with her...

But now it's all over...I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW!! I wanna see her... I miss her... I... love her so much...

Cya tomorrow... my sweet little lady :)

Updating: Life and stuff

Damn... it's been 3 weeks since I've been home!

They were tiring and specially and unpleasantly dirty... I mean, 3 weeks away from home, I started to run out of fresh clothes and also towels to clean myself with after a shower (when I had the time to take one), and lending them to people didn't help to keep clean towels as well either... specially after the "judgment" thingie where we had all sorts of weird stuff on us... well... not "weird" but unusually and specially dirty, like motor oil, pig insides and stuff... etc... you get the idea... luckily M was kind enough to borrow me 2 of her's =)

But anyway, that's all over now, and I'm not a freshman anymore either... not because of the "judgment", because of the "cortejo" which is when we go from "Caloiro" to "Novilho"... next years we'll be the party comission and stuff... and after that it's our turn to apply the torments of le praxe to the next batch of "caloiros"... that also means no more praxe for us... obviously...

It was all worth it, we learnt things that we wouldn't ever learn anywhere else! Created bondings we wouldn't with anyone else... well... you'd have to live it to understand...


This week was the week of the "Enterro da gata" which is like a week full of concerts, students getting more than wasted, no classes... well, a week of "freedom" and all kinds of weird stuff to happen...
And because of that... I got to spend the whole time with M... What I'm about to say is not really surprising, but I still am glad for it... even though we spent all that time and some times things... meh got a little "cold" maybe, I was glad that we came back too "normal" quickly and tighter than before and also that we didn't get tired of each other after all this time. I always thought these things could happen, we getting a bit colder and all... and having to spend a lot of time together non-stop... but I always also "knew" inside me "if/when it does... it won't last long... we will go back to one another" and that is what we did =)

But anyway, it was a great week, didn't go every day but it was fun =)

I went to play there with TUNA on Wednesday, I presented one of the songs and they said I did it well (yaaay ^^ Q(^_^Q)  ) and also went to jump in the middle of the stage, I did better than expected actually... I think... but my cellphone did fall in the middle of it x)
A TUNO picked it up before he started jumping though, I was wondering if it would fall again during the jumping though xD

Well anyway... M and her parents brought me home, and it was their idea to do so... it's great to have someone like her in my life and knowing that her parents like me as well ^^
That is... at the very least... a very important detail... or else things could be a bit more rough and...

I'm just glad that I met her, that I have her in my life, that she makes me this much happy and that I (hopefully...) do that for her as well...

We are now away from each other... after 2 long weeks... I can't say that bothers me much ONLY for the single reason that... I will almost certainly see her tomorrow, therefore... waiting a day to be with "something" as valuable as that? WORTH IT! I would wait a month if needed (if I didn't die before... (((from missing her that is)))), so a day is bearable, but I still can't wait =)

Wow I wrote a lot today, why don't I just go get some sleep already? Why do I only blog at such late hours? Why was there only 1 slice of pizza? Why can't I buy infinite food to yum yum at it whenever I want? Why do I need M so much?
Answering the last one, even if I don't know why I need her, I don't wanna find out why if that means she's be gone... I shall cherish her until the very end... she deserves everything... more than I can give her but... I will do my best, I really do love that girl =)

Now STOP BEING NOSY, BLOG! D:

____________________EDIT____________________


OH GOD!!!! When I went to see the blog I noticed it had no "enters" !!! It was all just a big line of text D:

Phew... good thing I could go back the page and copy what I was writing in the HTML format (yea... ass...) copy it all with the enters and stuff and pasting it here on the "normal" text writing thingie... but now it's done and 'll go sleep now, cya  ^^

Updating: N3RD stuff

Well, I have ONCE AGAIN returned to flash game making... but this time it's different, firstly, I have a strong reason to do it to the end (this current project that is), secondly, I found a place where I feel that I can REALLY learn everything from scratch and with no gaps, and so far it's going great!

I'm working on the same game for like 3 or 4 days now, the tutorial has 12 parts and I'm starting part 6 now... and so far... it's doing great!!!

Sure... I still have a lot to work and polish but... this time... I feel it... I'll get there!

Also here's what I have so far... anyone should be able to see this (ONLY IF THEY HAVE THIS LINK!), but don't try it if you don't want spoilers, this will be the last time I'll post the game's progress before it is completed, but it's going rather well so far, with the stuff I did from the tutorial, and other I just made up on my own, like the double score line (hey, I wasn't sure if it would or not... but I made it work haha! :D )

Depressing Maria (yup, it already has a name xP)

Besides all this, this is a game that will teach me a lot and take some time, but there are also a few more kinds of games that I'll try to do next, I'll be able to do a bit of everything when I do them all... and then start making up my own stuff :P


Well that's about it for this nerd stuff for now I think... on a side note, newgrounds site is way different!
But I kinda like it =)

Oh also... I don't know why but... lately the image of a 3D LEGO game from like 16 years ago has been popping in my head... and I start to wonder if I could find it and how it really is (maybe I only had the demo and that's why the game ended suddenly?) I don't know... maybe I'll look for it later =)

Game Over

Praxe... it's over, just last thursday we had the final praxe... well, maybe not final but it was the last "heavy load" and it was dirty... oh yes... quite dirty... they weren't kidding when they said "bring clothes you can throw away", because we actually had to throw them all away x)

Eheheheh... sorry mom xD

Oh well... either way, now it's done so... pig guts and stuff... oh the smell.... bah x)

Now there are a few thing left... the "baptism"... and the "parade", and then we'll be freshmen no more... we will start working for the next parade, and raising funds to do it...

I went to have a coffee with my "godfather" today, and we talked a bit about it... oh well let's see how it all goes, it was a great year, we learned a lot, we suffered, we sang, we screamed, we got dirty... it was all so very much worth it...

I'm sure there will be lots of tears in the next week... when we're all in our uniforms... saying "goodbye" to the praxe and all that... oh well... it was an awesome year, now we just gotta make sure to pass this on two years from now =)

Later guys, have a nice everything

That smile

Still can't "get used to" it... That smile is just so... powerful...when I glance at her and she back at me... and I see that smile coming up just because of me I... it's like I get all paralyzed inside... it feels so good and cozy... those eyes staring... those lips smiling... it's a kind of spell that no one can create but she has it... and quite a powerful one it is... Just looking at it makes it feel like everything I've ever done was worth it, that every second of my life that I spent for her was indeed not a waste of time or energy... It's a reward for everything I could have ever been through... and actually... even more...

To me it shines brighter than any diamond... it is one of my biggest treasures, one I will cherish forever and take good care of... that single thing that no matter how things can be, it feels my heart with happiness...

Why... how... when... Why does she likes me so much... How could I make this happen and how can she love me so?... When did all this start?

I still can hardly believe it...

True... every things have an end, and not all last a lifetime, and when you're in love and all that everything seems eternal and stuff but... I don't know... I just really feel this time it isn't like that, we're not just bf/gf... we're friends... we play, we laugh... we help each other... we love each other...

So far I don't feel it like getting stale at all, even though we spend the whole time together... I can say this here, it will last!

And if it doesn't, I'll find a way for it to last =)

This is what I want in life...

That smile... it is a worthy goal in life... I earned it already... now I just have to keep it... close to my heart as it always has been... that smile... is one of the greatest things in my life =)

Festa das cruzes

Friday, day 29 if I am not mistaken, I took her with me to Barcelos, I also wanted her to know about "Festa das cruzes" which happens every year over there, it was funny to know that people think that because of that name, the "Festa" would be a bunch of old people carrying candles and going on a parade xD

Well, no. It's made with lots of attractions, mini-rollercoaster and other rides... I went with her to Kanguru and also apollo... I've tried them all before, a lot of times ever since I was little (not apollo, that only came in like a few years ago), and I was always meh, look at me jumping woohoo... but for some reason, going on those same attractions and even being older... I don't know why, but it felt so good and it was so much fun to ride them with her ^^

We then decided to go to the ferris wheel... we were the only ones there actually, we entered after a couple left and we started going round and round... well it is no secret now that we are dating, so I can now say that when we were going up, we would... ehhehe you know... but when we came back down we were like "nothing to do here" eheh.. either  way, after a few spins it appeared it was time to stop, he slowed us down when we were close to the exit but... he then looked at  us with a stare like "hehehe... I see what you did there", so we took one more spin, but he stopped us for a few moments on the top hahah, it was certainly a moment to remember ^^

Well then we bought cotton candy... I told the lady to be generous because we would eat it all x)
Which we actually didnt... haha, we went for a walk around the city, then we came back to the party once more... it was then that I saw a kit  with a cotton candy thingie almost double the one we had! 0_o
You couldn't even see his hand!! AND HERE'S PROOF!!!

And believe me... it looked much bigger in reality than in the picture 0_o
Yes the image is twisted... DON'T BE LAZY! save it and turn it or something x)

Either way, that was about it, we then went back home, she spent the night there, it felt so nice ^^

Too bad she had to leave though... but oh well, at least I got to see her the next day so not as bad as that

That's about it for my week delayed report, again... oh well x)

And to finish it all off...

BUTTON MASHING!!!!1!1!!!""#IOPU#$"OPU(YR!POUFGSDPUADGLOYSDGFÇIWDEHFGYSaxflsdhfyioasgdfçaihdflaiu.swdgpvo9sdofiagsedupfghasdkjfgaspudfgaoçsefgayisegfugasdlfgkasºpfgohsdgsdf6s5ad4f567sdf6a5e4fasdfgiauw63triqwuey6gri76ftgiUT&FU/&$E"/I&ETI#OYU(EG)"TF(%/$#&%/(()(&%$&#%"$%&/()P"/&%/$#%&/£§@€£§{[€€§{€§{£€§@€£§£€[€{€awi346r7fia8wy7oihunitR$%&/WE%R&/T(RIYFHOUIRYSEt435y45u&YFUGPovy8rtew#T$#$Y5y67utIBUY345y$T%Y&U/rutigBIVewr#4t$Y%6yuITG/%&456#Y$&5y6/UIGHi6%e45y64u75&/g8i=B)/(td6798YH0?€4§£€£7tfw76ygrigf7t6y7F&$/%#&/IGU(FE/&RSUCYIUOIQ"EHG/TRT&FY

And a bit more... IUFGSWY&UI(/OT(#"/&%"#(&R/I6745u6u7RUghbRE/&%U%I678o)OIGFW"CE%&"#/&()()igv7%&$%$U&U/I(g9h0b987%&#4675678IGI756/%(6iC/W"#%&%(&/CE#$876%(&Uci&R%C)SUC

Luv ya guise! cya!!! ,(^_^)/

KITTY ATTACK!!!

Well I'm back home, real home, after a week or so.

After I got here, I stayed quite a few hours at home, but only when I went to perform the action which usually follows a *PLOP* did I get to see my kitty... why? Because I think he has some kind of weird fettish about people on the bathroom 0_o
Well.. more realistically, there is a possibility that he does it because he know's that since we'll be out of comission for a few minutes we have no other choice but to pat and scratch him and whatnot... he then came to the living room after some time, he's here behind me sleeping btw x)

Well at a certain point it all happened... KITTY ATTACK!!! and I have photographic evidence!




And there he is savagely attacking my arm! D:
And that sweater is thin so it's a bit more of an ouchie :'(

Either way, it's always fun to play with him xD

And what is also funny is what I got to see a while back, I actually cought my cat snoring! And with his tongue out at the same time xD

It was a unique moment I suppose x)

Well either way, seeing that it's 6:35AM already maybe I should go sleep... no?

... YES!!! SO BYE BITCHEZZZ!!!!(Ezezezezzzzezezzzzzz...:)

Should have been written a long time ago...

A few days ago I had a thought about what to write here, I didn't get to it because when I woke up my brother was using the computer so I though I would just leave him at that and do something else.

Anyway, what I wanted to write isn't something I feel as much now... maybe because I'm starting to get used to it? I don't know... anyway, I'll write as if it was then

Title: She really does love me!

I still can hardly believe it, how can someone love me this much for no apparent reason? Can she love me even more than what I ever loved her? Even though everything that happened in the past and things that were said? I just... don't know, it doesn't make much sense to me...
What is it that there's in me that makes her love me this much... appreciate me this much... value me this much... well... of course I always did try to care for her the best I could... I've always loved her with all my heart and did everything I ever could for her but...
It still seems unbelievable the fact that she does! Not for any bad reason though... just... you know... one of those "too good to be true" things.
But I never would have expected this much devotion from someone towards me... specially not from her... am I worth it? Do I deserve her?

Don't get me wrong, all this text was not to complain, nor to say there is something bad... it's just that... this is such a wonderful thing and so unbelievably good that... I don't know... I guess I'm just not used to it x)

Think I'll end this at here for now...

Wise words...

"Tu consegues ser estupido e ao seres estupido es estupido"

Palavras sabias do meu pai xD

Also cute

My kitty is almost falling asleep on top of my hand ^^

The past few days...

Remember those times when I said I was going to a friend's house? How it would be fun and all, and that I wanted to meet her dog and etc? Well... those days are over... they went by so fast... but I had a really great time!

First I got off from my dad's car on the gas station (yeah my dad took me because I thought there was a bus at 10:30AM, however there were only busses by 9:30AM and then 14:30PM so... I just couldnt stand to be 4 hours without seeing her... also, we took a little bit longer to get there because the road was full of lame drivers, stupid cyclists and etc... not saying that riding a bike is stupid, but when you are with someone else, specially on the road, and specially on long straight roads, you always go in a line, one in the front and the rest behind him... and if the people who are cycling are fully equipped with cycling material one would expect them to know this better than the rest but no, 2 cyclist occupying the whole lane on the road -.-), anyway, as I was saying, I got out there and waited for her, I wrote on the bus stop's wall:

I LOVE ME
oh wait...

Hahahha, I just had to do it, after seeing all those "love you mike" "<3 forever" "call me 966666666" and etc...

But I waited there for her, then I saw her and went straight to her (duh) and when I was really close to her I read her message: "no hug"... I was like "ggggggggggggggg.......................OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD DAMMIT!" xD
But oh well... there would be time for it either way xD

Anyway we started walking towards her house, we passed through an abandoned house and through some woods, we were finally home.

When we got there, Lee, her bitch (I use thee term "bitch" to refer to a female dog, nothing ofensive, on the contrary, I love that bitch ^^) started running towards her and even though I've never see her before (in real life) she jumped towards me like I was an owner who left for a week or so, she came and then threw herself on the floor with her belly up for us to scratch her, it was really funny when I moved away a bit, called her, and she would just twist her head to the side, and drag herself with her front paws while still being belly-side up xD

It was also funny because during my stay it almost seemed like she liked me most than she liked her owner hahaha xD

And also how when we were eating, my friend would give her a piece of meat, Lee would reject it, then I would give her a piece of meat and she would eat it all gladly xD
After which my friend would call her "PIG!" or "COW!" which was actually quite funny xD

Well on the first day me and her went out to two of her friend's houses to borrow a couple of bikes, after that we went riding on the eco-way and see the scenery... it was really beautiful and we went to amazing places! I loved being there near the river with her, throwing stones... taking pictures... looking at her cute red toe-nails haha ^^

We made a few kilometres actually, and then we could barely stand up because of that xD
We weren't used to riding the bike in a few years so... yeah... when we were heading back I grabbed her camera and started taking pictures one handed while we were riding, now here's the thing, her camera takes 2 pictures in a row each time you press the button, and there's a moment when you see a picture of her riding and after that a picture of the trees all blurred out... why? Because I nearly fell because of that haha

We then went exploring and found a rather hidden place where there was a boat in the middle of the river, we got inside, took some pictures and just lied there... it was a nice moment... but then we came back, returned one of the bikes and headed home, filmed a funny video before getting there though x)

And that was about it for the first day... we just spent the rest of the time in the PC or something, watching movies and such...

After that there is not much to tell, PC almost all the time the next 2 days, but we did turn on the piano, and I played some of the songs I've half-learned so far there xP
Well I think she liked it though x)

And speaking of liking, I think her parents liked me as well x)
... yay xD

Well I am home now, I really loved every single day of those :)
Her company is really good ^^ it makes me feel happy and confortable ^^

I'm gonna miss those times though but... I'm sure they will happen again sooner or later =)

That's about it, I'm going to bed now, she's gone so I will too :P

I'll never forget these days, I promise ^^

mlu... vm ^^

CMSLTITW

Which translates to: Cutest Most Special Little Thing In The World!

There are simply NO WORDS to describe it... I cannot really tell you why... you know... it's something special, a real precious treasure which you don't want to share with anyone else on the entire planet! But... Even though I don't want to say my reasons, I just have the will to shout out: SHE IS THE CUTEST MOST SPECIAL LITTLE THING IN THE WORLD!!! And by "little" in no way am I trying to say it's of less importance, I just put it there because... it adds to the cuteness... However, no matter how many words I add, not even if I make some up... will I ever get close to describing it...

There are many reasons why people live for... I just recently found mine... something that... whatever it is I do I never feel like it's a waste of time... I found something that makes me happy... and makes me feel good about myself... I found something that... I can take care of and that takes care of me... but above all... I found someone, someone I've been looking all my life for, literaly, ever since I can remember I've been looking for someone to... someone that I could love... and that would love me back... it took me 20 long years to find it... but dear God have I hit the jackpot... for the time I waited, I hope I can stick with that little treasure four times the number of years I've waited... at least... or even more... I know I'll do anything I can to make her happy, to make her feel good... and if I would do that the rest of my life... I'd live a happy life... her smile makes me happy, her voice makes me happy, looking at her makes me happy... just thinking... about her... makes me happy...

She's everything I've been searching since ever and even more!
Never have I dream I would find someone so- or better yet, that there even WAS someone so perfect, special, cute, kind, lovely... EVERYTHING! as much as I found in her...

I... I love you... I really really do! And I will love you always!!!


PS: if you (anyone) tell me to get a life... as I just wrote... I've already got one :)

And that is that...

I now have nothing else to do today, when she leaves I lose all reason to remain so, I'll just turn down my PC, get my stuff ready and go sleep, waking up early is a poop but oh well, some times (like this one for sure) it's really worth it ^^

Hasta mañana chica!

ALMOST!!! ^^

Já só falta passar a noite!!! ^^ oh god yay :D

Tomorrow will be awesome, I'm sure of it ^^
So awesome in fact, that I even wrote this in two languages ahhaha xD

Well anyway, there hasn't been going much on my mind besides that, so there is actually not much to write, oh yeah, I still haven't though about what to take there ahahahha oh well xD

Anyways, I just want this day to be over... why? Because when it does it will be tomorrow!! And tomorrow I'll go there! :D

Lee, wait for me, I wanna meet you ^^

And you... there's no words to describe how I miss you... someone once wrote a poem about it eheh... but... nothing I can do can compare to that so... I really wanna see you again ^^

ykilywamh ^^

I remember a bit from my last dream...

It was a sad dream... don't know what I would do if I hadn't woken up...

21st century problems... near desperation...

While waiting for her to play I decided to write something... (as it was already posted...) but when I saw that the window where I was talking was grayed out I was like "oh no :/" as usual, my house internet had failed... "dammit... might as well try another wireless... since I have an account and all"... but every time I tried it it gave me some stupid error and wouldn't let me... I was literally starting to feel desperate... even knowing she didn't have messages or any means to contact me I still sent her a few messagens to tell her what's going on... I then tried my USB wireless pen thingie... but it didn't work either! I reset my PC, my router... EVERYTHING! But it just wouldn't work! I was really starting to get desperate... I didn't even say "goodbye" or anything like that to her.... sure it wasn't my fault... butt I just left without saying a thing... even though I didn't like how it could be that she was feeling because of that, I really didn't like it... I missed her on that half hour I didn't speak... bah stupid I know... "oh look at him all worried for a 30 minute break on his internet" but meh... I missed her more than the internet... and missed her a lot... overreacting? Maybe I am... but it's what I feel and it's just how much she is to me...

And... if you are reading this... thank you for everything... you make my every day worth living :')

Write my darling, write!

Well it's a thing we have in common... we love reading each other's blogs... why? Actually, I don't really know... but I like reading about it, specially when there is something in those texts... I read a superb one a few days ago that made me... well... "happy" wouldn't even be close as to describe how I felt... and also wanted... and... loved...

"She's a special little girl with a special little heart..."* I've said it before... and I still think so!
She is the most special thing to ever have blessed my life...
Sure my life isn't THAT long but it isn't that short either... just looking at her feels like a blessing, and actually being with her is like a trip to heaven... a moment in paradise... in which I just wished time would just stop...

Meh... at least... this time I'm not alone ^^


*(Please add "precious" to "special", but it would be weird if I put those two together in the same sentence :P, but I just can't let it go without mentioning ^^ )

MERDA!

It always makes me laugh xD

My computer...

Is still making me mad! Why is this one better than the last one but eats away all my letters?! :(

Instead of taking 5 minutes to write a text I take 10 or more! It's so frustrating... I think I'm just gonna delete everything and start again >.<

It's true that I have a lot open at the same time but.. bah!

Finally up and awake

Finally I'm out of bed, after waking up with the alarm clock, I pressed it to ring again afte like 5 minutes.... I did this for an hour, while having smaall dreams in between, and halucinatios that I was speaking to her while I did it... but after a while I would realise: Hey... that's impssible... she doesn't even have texts... press the alarm clock, sleep, halucinate, repeat...

Finally, one hor later, I got out of bed and decide to go have a bath, I turned on my computer and went onto have a bath... all was normal utill I came back... I looked at my screen and saw big silver letter going around the screen saying "MERDA!" ad I thought "oh nice..."... but what I really thought and and still think when I remember it is: "HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH xD"

Well anyway, I have to go eat in a while, and I hve to meetup at 4 so we can rehearse... so this shall be my last post for now :)

Also just remembered... probably I wont be able to play PSO with her :/
... oh well...

It exists on everyone...

Currently it is 7:07AM... still havent slept...

Why? I'm not sure... She's not even around here anymore so... why am I awake?
I don't know... maybe the conversation touched me so... that I've just been mindlessly thinking about it... and recalling it... My state of happinesss cannot be told or written... it is far above anything I've ever been... I... Don't even know what to do or write...

I made her believe in love... and that's a fact not a though... I knew it... I knew everyone was capable of love, I knew it!! ^^

I was so happy to know that! What has been my desire for month has finally become true!

I feel a bit more rested now... what could be gone at any time... seems that it will remain now =)

And that makes me happy... makes me feel good... because those things were the reasons why my last few weeks of living were happy... made me smile, made me glad to be alive, made me love and feel loved in return...

I always knew this day might come... but never really expected it to... is it weird? 0_o

Well... it is true now... some times even I have trouble believing it but... guess I'm gonna have to get used to it :)

Never give up on what you truly love... and always take good care of it...

No matter how impossible it may seem... never lose hope... you can do it if you try and just don't give up...

And "J."... thank you for being born... thank you for existing... thank you for always being with me... even if you're far away.... thank you for making my every day happy... thank you for everything.... thank you... thank you just for existing... <3

About... thingies

We'll let's see, tomorrow I have to be in ARCUM by 4PM so I hope I can wake up before that x)
We're going to be the choir of a church as I believe I already mentioned, and we're gonn- HER... uhm sorry, we're gonna be there untill maybe 8 or so... gotta ask my parents if they can come and get me after that, then I can finally go back home and wait calmly for wednesday!!1 ^^

Anyway my house here in braga is a mess... garbage and used tissues everywhere... almost no "practical" food (that which you can just grab and eat) and there are things all over the place in my room... oh well x)

Anyway I don't think I have much more to write... I miss her very much but... We can only be together in a few days so... I'll just have to wait... to make matter worse I can't contact her by cellphone either.... bah.........

I miss her tight grasp around me... Her soft breathing against my skin... Her soft skin under my finger... I miss her... but... there's nothing I can do about it now... I'll just wait...

Ilhvm though... and that's for sure :)

Well have a good night everyone, there are special things in this world, but there are other that one can't even begin to describe... guess who I'm talking about ^^